審心息爭，寬懷得樂 D. C. Chen, R.I.P. (#253; Topic N)

I was at the Gate of Heaven cemetery this afternoon to say goodbye to D. C. Chen, PhD in Biostatistics from Yale, one of my wife's cousins, about 5 years my senior. I first met D.C. one Saturday afternoon in May more than two decades ago, in a hospital room in Bethesda -- only a few months earlier, I came to Washington for my second tour, joining the World Bank from my professorship at U of Texas; my wife was still in Texas to handle the sale of our house there. For the forthcoming Mother's Day that year, D.C. bought some flowers on behalf of their adopted son, who was about 5 or 6 years old at the time. In a split-second inattention, when crossing a street without looking at oncoming traffic, he was hit by a Metro bus, necessitating the amputation of one of his legs below the knee. When I met him, D.C. was most courteous, calm, spoke with a soft voice, as if nothing had happened. His stay at the hospital, however, gave him a lot of time to think; after his discharge, he decided to leave Christianity (which was deeply entrenched in his hometown in China; he was forced to accept it since infancy without his approval and certainly without enthusiam) for Buddhism. A dramatic effect of this conversion was his decision not to sue the bus driver nor the Metro company, even though the Metro bus driver was more at fault than he. His reasoning: money meant little to him; he had a fulfilling job (a supergrade position at the National Institute of Health; his highly regarded understanding of pain management won him a year-long fellowship to evaluate acupuncture in China); he had a comfortable home and a loving family; conversely, were he to sue and were the bus driver convicted, he would, most likely, be out of a job and his family, though faultless, would suffer nevertheless. He also refused early retirement, arguing that his handicap was not a sufficient reason but a mere rationalization. (He eventually retired at his normal retirement age.) By the same token, he refused to apply for a handicap parking permit (even though, with that permit, he would be able to park at any legal parking space without charge). For several years, D.C. and I met for lunch every Wednesday, the purpose of which was for me to provoke him into discussing his belief (or, perhaps, beliefs), in connection with my years-long research on the influence of western religions on Chinese culture. He took a strong interest in Dao De Jing, a Chinese classic I translated (indeed, afterward, he gave me a copy of this work as translated by another person of Chinese ancestry); he augmented my translation and annotation with comments from his Buddhist understanding, and we discussed them as we met. At the end of one meeting, perhaps my comments were too provocative, he left the impression that they made him uncomfortable and that he would no longer entertain further meetings. And he kept his words. My repeated 'phone calls were to no avail; so were calls by my wife. We last saw him about two years ago. At the burial-side today, I asked another relative (a follower of Buddhist faith) whether D.C. had left any writings. She said that he wrote a lot, and, on the spot, gave me several 5x7 cards with his writings. The following eight words, from one of D.C.'s writings, describe his outlook (as well as his reasoning for not suing) most fittingly: 審心息爭，寬懷得樂。Examining [your] heart avoids argument; broadening [your] embrace produces happiness. D.C., you have set a good example for all of us; we'll always remember with your kind words and outstanding deeds. R.I.P.